Anxiety is such a controversial emotion. Sometimes, it ignites a burning flame inside you that burns away all of your laziness and procrastination and rips away hazy veils towards clarity and productiveness that can help you reach your dreams. Other times, anxiety is a heavy weight on your back which is so hard to lift, sometimes pressing you into the ground, ever making it harder for you to rise back onto your feet. And it’s so hard to pinpoint the line between the light and the dark of the two. Anxiety is just simply hard.
From my own personal experience, most people without social anxiety tend to not understand the impact of the terrifying panic the moment you hear footsteps approaching or the dagger of shocked panic at the swivel of a head turning in your direction. They think it’s just a fear of people, which it is… and more. The effects are just like the ripples of a heavy rock falling into a small pond: they cause huge collateral effects which can rip up a person’s life.
Nowadays, a large array of activities related to success or prosperity involve other people. We are constantly being told we must work in a team. Almost every job description in the world mentions the involvement of teamwork. Most of us earn in a company where there are lots of people. Human interaction is as stoppable as trying to blow away a tornado with your breath. Most sports, even those that involve just the individual person tend to be surrounded by others. Swimming teams, cross country teams, double tennis – there is so much that involves working together.
Together, one person can prosper more. It is known (sorry, I just had to). With two people working together, tasks can be divided and allocated towards those the individual who is best at the task; the team player who completes the task with the lowest time, money and opportunity cost. This means that an individual does not have to engage in as many activities in which they underperform in, and thus are left to excel in their talents. Thus, a team of two tends to produce more than two people working separately. Since we live in a world where so many of us are constantly trying to acquire more and more stuff, any method that produce more stuff is a golden rule and must be cherished, worshipped and religiously followed above all else. Hence, teamwork is crucial.
This leaves a huge dilemma for those whose heart rates exceed their exercise heart rates at the mere sight of a human. Those with social anxiety can sometimes struggle to acquire or maintain employment, to sustain happy
relationships with family members and friends, and most significantly, to pursue their dreams. The heavy burden of anxiety can quickly transform into upset. Profuse upset can quickly transform into misery. Profuse misery can steadily slide into a downward spiral of depression and idleness. Some people in these cases grab for the nearest alcohol bottle or scour the landscape for the nearest drug dealer; just a way to escape for the horrifying reality of the situation. It’s really a terrifying ordeal, and a lot of people just want to forget the terror, which is what substances promise.
If you are pinned down in a bed of yours, or slumped over on your sofa, or maybe even lying on the floor paralysed from moving, with only your thumb active scrolling down this article, I am absolutely and clearly saying Do Not Give Up. If drugs are your saviour, and alcohol your best friend, please, do not give up on your dream. You know what I mean.
There is always a solution. I know these last few sentences seem directly from some weird plot you can see on a cheesy children’s program where the main character has to save his dog from the clutches of the Evil Unicorn, or whatever, but there truly is! Especially with social anxiety.
Most people suffer from some degree of shyness, but social anxiety is a whole new breed of terror entirely. The anxiety around people begins somewhere. It plants its shaky seed somewhere in the past. Blowing away the dust and tearing away the cobwebs may reveal the long forgotten memories of its source. you need to blow away the dust and tear through the cobwebs of long forgotten memories. Hunt down the seed, and haul it out from your mind and throw it further away than a thousand Pacific Oceans combined!
It’s the same with gardening. If you don’t pick the weeds from the roots, the weeds are just going to will remain in the soil and grow back over time. But if you toss away and burn the roots of the weeds, they will be gone forever. You have to confront that core fundamental reason and banish it for an eternity.
How to win? That’s the hardest step. Discovering the root is extremely tricky. You just can’t tell for certain. It’s possible that there could be more than one cause. Perhaps you were ridiculed at school, verbally abused by your parents or been discouraged in some other way. I think the best way to find the source is next time you feel scared at the eerie presence of another human being, take note of what you are thinking and feeling. Those feelings and thoughts originated from somewhere. If you can latch onto those feelings and thoughts, and use them as bread crumbs to wind your way through the path of your mind back to its source, you should be able to find the culprit. You have to keep experiment until you do.
And that’s when the battle commences! You need to plant your own seeds, bury your warrior thoughts deep into your mind: those fears that you have, tell yourself they are not important or relevant. People aren’t thinking of you, they aren’t analysing and scrutinizing every single breath you take. People aren’t there to hurt you, they’re just there to live and exist, and maybe even to help! These people aren’t laughing at you, it’s all in your head. It’s all the evil root. Come on, you can do that thing you wanted to do, or support that person you feel needs supporting. Don’t be afraid. You are a strong and capable human being who is fearless in the face of difficulty and complexity.
A positive attitude is the strongest shield you could ever build yourself in your life. You don’t need self-relieving pills to absorb the pain, or alcohol and drugs to wipe it away. They aren’t problem-solvers, they’re problem-hiders. In effect, they are problems in themselves. Recreational items are not the answer. Fighting is the answer. Drown the negativity with positivity. Think of the parts of your life that are good and true to you, think about the possibility in the future of developing those parts of yourself that you think as weaknesses, and turn them into strengths. You can, you just need a little nice new thought and a new perspective. I’m not claiming this will definitely work, but you have to try something. You cannot let anxiety defeat you. Never give up!
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