Running looks so simple, doesn’t it? We see people all the time gliding across our local parks like gazelles, leaping through the undergrowth and voyaging to wherever their heart’s desire takes them. It seems so easy to copy, replicate and increase.
Sometimes a skill can seem so simplistic that even a sloth who has sat in a tree all day, eating bananas and talking to pigeons lurking on the nearby electric pole line could do it. We only seem to see the act itself. We hardly ever see the practice, repetition and pure dedication involved. The heavy streams of sweat and tears, the long grinding motivation and the deep painful climb are beyond us.. The final product is a facade of its making. But still, we make interpretations and say “I can do that. I’ll do that tomorrow morning. It’ll be easy”.
Like with running, the first time a person goes for a run in their lives. The first few steps are awesome. Like, wow, isn’t this fun? Your body going up and down, peddling along the street, happily in your own bubble of tranquillity. But then, all of a sudden, just at the moment you feel like you could tickle the wing of a butterfly, PAIN hits like a bullet in the chest. It seers down into your abdomen, landing heavily and abruptly in your quadriceps and calf muscles, torturing your body with spasms and pinpricks. Your lungs heave up and down, making lame hefty attempts to hoist the pain out of the stomach and over the nearby fence. But to no avail. Eventually, most people end up slumped against a wall, wondering what beauty ever actually existed in the world and questioning the meaning of life.
At least, that’s what I think happens.
If you have hardly ever gone on a run in your life and want some advice, you can do it. That’s just encouragement. Don’t give up on running. Running is tough to begin with, and you should never underestimate it. If your leg muscles aren’t adapted to the fast pace of running, then intense repetition for a long period of time could lead to muscle damage which usually takes weeks to recover from. You need to put your toe into the water to check the conditions of the pool before you dive in. I’m still talking about running, not swimming. (Although I’ve heard swimming is cool).
I was quite nervous in telling you that because I do not want to discourage you from running by overly scaring you through my occasional hyperbolic writing style . I just want you to be careful with yourself. When I began running again after four months of inactivity – staring at a wall, and saying ‘goo goo gaga’ a foot injury halted my reintroduction to running pretty quickly. That was because I was going on runs an hour long, downhill and on hard tarmac. Basically I was giving my feet the beating of its life! I was basically shoving Peppa Pig into a boxing ring to beat up Mohammed Ali. I wonder who won? (Not Peppa Pig, in case you were wondering. But wouldn’t it be amazing if she did? Go piggy!).
Ideally, your first run should be on softer ground. Go to a field, any field. Preferably a meadow, farmland has harder ground from constant plantation of soils. Or go to your local common or forest where there are soft ground pathways. Plus off-road running is much more pleasurable in my opinion than road running where you have gigantic beast machines hurling past with their gigantic plumes of exhaust fumes which you suck up like an 8 year old child avidly drinking Coca-Cola.
Time? Hmm, three hours! I’m joking. That’s crazy, unless you’re like… superhuman. Are you? Well, if you’re not, for the first run I would recommend ten minutes. For some, that may be absolutely miniscule, smaller than a mouse whose toes have been chopped off. But seriously, ten minutes will feel like a long time on a first run. That’s longer than the time it takes to stagger around the 1500 metres in school. You’ll probably run 2K in that time, unless you collapse from exhaustion and dehydration and wake up at the bright lights (big city) of the hospital. I’m really not good at encouragement… but upon conquering the 10 minute body massacre, you can move up to 11 minutes, and then 12… and then… yeah, you know. Just steadily increase the time until you reach a length of running amount you are satisfied with. I don’t know what your intentions are with running, but most are to stay fit and lose weight. So, to do that, reach a 30-40 minute run is a healthy habit to maintain… which is about 8 kilometres.
Drink enough water – not too much or water you’ll be waterlogged; sloshing great oceans of water inside you as your trundle along your first steps. Just drink a glass, and if you are going for a long run, maybe bring a bottle (water, not alcohol) with you, especially if it’s a hot day. Running whilst dehydrated is the worst – headaches, nausea, dizziness… Gosh running sounds fun, right?
Don’t get lost. Once, I decided to explore my local area. I ended on a Police Dog Training Ground. Never again. Be boring and remain on the ground you know and love. Nah, just bring a map and be careful. Have fun exploring. Some of the best runs of my life have been when I just let myself run along a completely new trail, blazing new landscapes and completely benevolent views, crisply cutting through the sides of hills and floating through valleys of gently flowing streams and soft singing birds. I’m not even exaggerating. Somehow, it happens. But then again, I’ve also had some of the worst. It’s a gamble, but if you strike gold, you will receive an ocean.
I really hope you have an amazing time on your runs though. The first few are tricky, and may leave your body screaming at you worse than a tantrumous child. But after that, you really land into a beautiful routine – one which you can really appreciate. Running provides such amazing benefits which are quite invisible when observed from afar. It just seems like putting one foot in front of the other, really fast. But it’s so much more. Fitness, motivation, energy and love. There are acres upon acres of possibility with running, and that’s not just geographical. Have the greatest of times upon your cardio adventure!
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